This holiday season, even the most diligent parents found themselves surprised by inappropriate content in movies, video games and music marketed to children. The potential for children to encounter provocative language, violence, and sexually suggestive material in all forms of media is quite high. Our rapidly evolving internet provides countless means for our children to access entertainment. Barring a complete ban on electronics, it is simply impossible for parents to shield children from every “inappropriateness” that may come their way. Allowing children to partake of the many wonderful entertainment offerings, while developing a healthy respect for self and others requires a plan of action that is not based solely on limit setting, but in meaningful communication.
To manage the “Media Monster” consider the following:
1. Exercise due diligence by limiting access to only age appropriate content. Utilize parental control programs for your computers, televisions and phones. Keep in mind that our babies will grow and develop the maturity and self discipline needed to navigate a world without forced limits. The need for parental controls will naturally decrease. Communicate often with your child to determine exactly where his limits should be to protect him while giving him the opportunity to grow.
2. Take time to review movies, games, etc., before making a purchase. Some movies and games rated as child friendly may be void of profane language, yet depict adult situations that children are not equipped to digest, posing a threat to healthy relationships in the future. Adult scenarios often include the complexities of sexual relationships. Children do not have the life experience or brain development to process the meaning of such issues; and most importantly, discern what represents a reality they will experience as adults and what is fiction meant solely to entertain. Read reviews thoroughly and preview products when possible. There are many great websites to help you determine what is best for your child. (See below). Not all media is bad. Be open to learning about what your child is interested in before prohibiting a purchase. Talk to her to find out why she is interested and research the product considering her level of maturity. What is wrong for some may be okay for others.
3. Discuss your family values. When parents share their beliefs about acceptable behavior, children have a context within which to place new information. What is inappropriate in your home? Why? Understanding why you hold a particular belief gives your child the necessary tools to make good choices on her own. Take time to watch your child’s favorite programs and play her favorite video games. Along with building the parent/child bond through special time, this will give you the opportunity to use the scenarios depicted to discuss your values and get a deeper understanding of how your child is comprehending what she is watching.
4. Answer questions. When your child asks you to clarify something that he has seen or heard that you find unsuitable, honestly answer his questions considering his age and stage of development. Be sure to always tell him why your family finds something to be objectionable. For instance, if he asks about the meaning of an offensive word, share a basic definition and why it is not acceptable to use for members of your family. You may say, "In our family, we don't use that word because it is used to demean others. We believe that putting others down is wrong."
Every day new “seeds of inappropriateness” may fall upon your child’s consciousness. Those seeds will fail to take root and grow into damaging negative influences with the help of mindful limit setting and continuous communication.
Check out these great resources to help you determine what is best for your children:
•www.commonsensemedia.org
•www.kids-in-mind.com
•www.pauseparentplay.org
•www.esrb.org
•www.familyfriendlyvideogames.com
~Sheila~
© 2011 Gardener Parenting Consultants, LLC
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