“Democracy cannot succeed unless those who express their choice are
prepared to choose wisely. The real safeguard of democracy, therefore,
is education.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------As this election season draws to a close there are many, both young and old, who are breathing a sigh of sweet relief. Without a doubt, it has been contentious, with memorable moments, replete with zingers and sound-bites. Yet, this is the democratic process at work – candidates making their case before “We, the people”. In this, and future election cycles, we parents would do well to progressively indoctrinate our children, so that they are fully prepared to participate as engaged citizens at the age of 18.
In recent months, we’ve seen extensive print and media
coverage offering in-depth (and sometimes, pretty shallow) perspectives of the
candidates, their personal stories and their political views regarding vital
issues of our time. All of these sources
likely shaped many family discussions as well as our assessments of the recent
debates. After Election Day, it’s all
over, right? It doesn’t have to be. There are lessons from this process that our
children can take with them in their daily lives:
It’s ok to disagree
without being disagreeable. Whether
engaged in a formal debate or a casual conversation, children should recognize
that others are entitled to opinions that are different from their own. These opposing ideas can be exchanged
respectfully, without hard feelings or severed relationships.
Pick apart ideas, but
not people. The focus should be on
defending or disproving ideas, not tearing down the people who have opposing
ideas. A gentle reminder in this area can ease
communications in family meetings, social settings and in the classroom.
Decide what you
believe to be true and stand on it. Family life plays an important role here,
for where else do our children get their early ideas of how the world works? It’s the laboratory where values
crystallize. Have frequent dialogues
with your children about what they are reading, seeing, and learning and
encourage them to express their feelings about what they think is right as well
what seems wrong to them. Offer different
perspectives to help them either strengthen their original positions or
judiciously and courageously change their minds in the face of compelling, new
information.
Do your
homework. Just as practice and preparation enable our children to perform certain skills in school, doing the work of
learning about the world we live in and the people we live among prepares our
children to engage intelligently and confidently with others. Whether in school, on the job, or in the
community, our children should be prepared to support their opinions and
actions with solid facts. Share your
experiences of how you gather information to support your decisions, personal
and professional.
It’s not enough to
say you can do a better job, come with a plan. Our children should be encouraged to move
beyond merely finding fault in others' ideas to offering alternatives to the
current way of doing or thinking about things.
Again, the courage to respectfully challenge the status quo really does
begin in a supportive home.
Have the courage to
defend your position. Once our son
or daughter has established a position, he or she will need the courage to
stand on principle and defend it. By
giving our children a voice, if not always their choice, in family matters, we
establish a proving ground for the courage of conviction we hope they will
exhibit in the outside world.
Our children are being exposed to mature experiences at an
increasingly younger age and a strong constitution is invaluable in times like
these. Armed with these life lessons,
they can decide when to hold, when to fold, and when to walk away, with their
dignity intact.
~Carol~
Copyright ©2012 Gardener Parenting Consultants, LLC All rights reserved
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