Finding Your Child's Passion

"It is not what you look at that matters, its what you see." --Henry David Thoreau

Music lessons? Martial Arts? Scouts? Riding lessons? Gymnastics? We have a wide range of choices as we search for extra-curricular activities that build character and enrich the lives of our children. Of course, we want to help them discover and develop their natural talents and interests, and with proper focus and/or instruction, gain proficiency that they can take pride in and build on over time. Such activities have enormous power to boost self-esteem and provide recurring "I Can" moments of accomplishment that build a foundation for future success. Finding activities for your children that motivate and stimulate them requires a close look at the unique nature of each child. A "good" activity takes into account the child's personality, gifts, and passions.

Often, we choose activities for our children that are convenient for us, or represent our own vision of "the perfect childhood." Typically, those choices result in moms dragging kids kicking and screaming to activities where they sit sullen, uninterested and uninspired. There are also times when a child begs for a certain activity only to declare, "I don't want to do that anymore" after the first meeting. Spend time communicating with your child to explore her true interests and talents, and you are more likely be successful in helping her connect with her passion.

Strategies for finding your child's passion:

* Maintain good communication with your child through regular "one on one" time. Seemingly casual conversation may reveal a lot about what's going on in your child's head and heart.

* Take time to reflect on each child. Take note of those moments he is really enjoying himself -- what activities bring him such pleasure he almost loses track of time? What activities make him feel particularly proud of himself?

* Ask child's opinion. What activities is she already thinking about?

* Encourage unrecognized talents. Share with your child the many skills and talents she possesses that she may not recognize as unique gifts. "I've noticed that you are really good at..." Celebrating all strengths builds confidence and can shape a well-rounded existence that really grounds a child.

* Research various ways for your child to use his particular talents and present alternatives to him. You both should be open -- maybe fencing instead of baseball, maybe volleyball instead of basketball, or maybe violin instead of piano.

* Support personal hobbies and interests that "feed the soul." If your child enjoys drawing, provide him with a sketchbook and materials. If your daughter enjoys learning about dinosaurs, help her become "a mini-expert" with visits to the library and museum.

Matching a child's activities with his strengths and interests should ensure a positive experience that he'll enjoy for a long time. However, there may come a time when interest in that much desired activity wanes and you find yourself struggling to motivate your child to participate. After trying the activity for a reasonable amount of time, look for signs of growth. Has there been an advancement of skill? If so, take an objective look at your child's real complaints. Is the activity scheduled at a physically or mentally challenging time of day? Are there social or behavioral distractions in the class or on the team which limit your child's learning and fun? Does your child's learning style not match her music teacher's style of instruction? In these instances, lack of motivation could be eliminated by a simple change in schedule or venue. Be willing to explore the possibilities and don't be discouraged if an activity has to come to an end. It happens and it's okay. Consider the end an opportunity to feed the spirit with something new!
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