Calming the Young and the Restless

Rest is not idleness, and to lie down in the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time.~~ John Lubbock

Remember the old adage, "All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy"? Well, as your "Jack" or "Jill" powers through the assigned reading lists and math drills this summer, help develop a new skill - relaxation. I know -- we think children today, particularly teens, have this skill down pat. However, if you take a closer look, you may find that a lot of their downtime isn't really self-directed. Instead, our children have become increasingly dependent on entertainment driven by outside sources such as media entertainment, electronic games, social networks, friend's agendas, etc. Now is a good time to help your child discover what truly brings him peace, a sense of fun, and enjoyment for his soul in ways that don't require grand plans or large sums of money.

Here's how you can help:

--Relax some of your limits like bedtime, curfews, screen time, allowing a little extra time here and there as seems practical.

--Help your child reduce dependency on passive entertainment in favor of quiet time or "alone" time which encourages reflection and contemplation. Encourage him to keep a journal.

--Increase opportunities for your child to be physically active for exercise, fitness, and recreation. Activities might include sports, yoga, cycling, etc.

--Cultivate an appreciation for the arts and music. She could use this time to learn to create art or to play a musical instrument, attend concerts/performances, or merely listen to different genres of music.

--Encourage your child to read for enjoyment and enlightenment, allowing him to expand his imagination and increase his knowledge base. Perhaps, he can tackle an epic novel or two aside from his assigned reading.

--Allow time for your child to maintain social connections with friends she particularly enjoys spending time with. Expose her to new settings where she will encounter new people and broaden her sense of the world.

--Plan family gatherings that enable your child to connect with relatives he may not get to see throughout the year. Of course, it is also critical that family members in your home spend quality time together to reinforce your connections before things get hectic again.

We live in a dynamic world. By and large, change is good -- it keeps us adults on our toes. Sometimes, though change comes so fast and furious and new information seems to flow faster than the speed of light. Life for our children is no different. As we strive to keep their minds sharp this summer, let's remember that they need to anchor their spirits as well.

~Carol~

Taming the Stress Monster

Remember the Boogie Man? --That menacing phantom lurking in closets and under beds, robbing countless children of much needed sleep. There isn't talk of him at night in my home anymore. Now that my children are older, I find myself sitting at bedsides reassuring kids haunted by the insidious "Stress Monster."

Our kids' lives are far busier than ours were growing up. In addition to a full day in sometimes challenging academic studies, children often have hours of homework and extracurricular activities. In every area of their lives, the expectations are consistently high. The emotional and physical demands are only compounded by the difficulties children endure maintaining friendships and navigating a growing and changing social scene. Like us, our children have their own life journeys, filled with triumphs and challenges. Stress will undoubtedly be a recurring challenge in their lives; however, as parents we can provide strength for the journey by giving them strategies to tame that nasty Monster.

Tips for taming the Stress Monster:
•Listen to your child’s concerns and encourage her with affection and your pledge of support. Venting is a powerful stress reliever, and good for mental health. Give your child the opportunity to "let it all out" before you offer suggestions. Follow up with a big hug or pat on the back. Touch has long been considered a great stress reliever.

•Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Children need nutrient rich diets, 9-12 hours of sleep and regular exercise to fuel their young bodies for the challenges of each school day. Many studies have shown that lack of sleep and poor nutrition can directly affect academic performance, mood and stress level. Regular exercise provides an outlet for negative emotions; and some studies suggest that it even causes stress fighting physiological changes in the body.

•Choose extra-curricular activities wisely. Be certain that your child has regular "down time" in his schedule. Children are happier, more relaxed and less stressed when activities are limited.

•Improve organization. If the stress is related to schoolwork, review with your child her means for organization. Disorganization fuels stress. Are homework assignments logged in an agenda regularly? Are papers maintained in an organized binder or accordion file? Consult your child's teacher for strategies if homework seems overwhelming or difficult.

•Teach stress relieving activities. Prayer, yoga, meditation, breathing techniques and games are all effective ways to reduce stress. Find the activities that work best for your child and encourage regular practice.

•Take care of yourself! The very best way to help your child manage stress is to role model healthy ways to deal with stress in your own life. Taming that nasty Stress Monster is important for the entire family!

~Sheila~

Copyright © 2011 Gardener Parenting Consultants, LLC

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