Be Yourself!

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."--Psalm 139:14

During a recent excursion in my role as chauffeur/deejay, I considered the lyrics of my son’s recurring musical selection, Billy Joel’s “Don’t Go Changing.” You’ll recall it starts off with, “Don’t go changing, to try and please me…” and wraps up with “I want you just the way you are.” Though I’d heard the song many times before, on this day, I was struck by the relevance of the message for my sons who are now ‘tweens. The tween years and the middle school years are a time when our children really begin to wrestle with who they want to be and how they want to present themselves. They often begin to give more weight to the opinions of peers, occasionally stifling their true interests, feelings, and sometimes, talents, for the sake of ‘fitting in’. In doing so, they negate their true essence.

An essential part of every parent’s job is to nurture each child to help him become who God intended him to be -- a simple idea, yet we often try to shape our children to conform to our ideal or to fulfill our own unmet goals. We cannot deny that when children are conceived, the seeds of their talents and their tendencies are planted along with other characteristics, including the color of their eyes and hair. These seeds are distributed among our children in such a way that they each have a unique role in helping to meet the needs of our world as God has defined it.

As parents, it is our mission to provide fertile ground in our hearts and in our homes to guide each child toward discovery of herself and her purpose. A crucial first step is to love our children as God created them. They can delight in being who they are when they know we love them as they are. Along the way, we will provide loving guidance and correction to channel their precious raw materials in directions that allow our children to use them in ways that are productive and healthy. We can do this by teaching our children life skills and grooming them socially and culturally to instill confidence; by exploring their interests and providing outlets for discovering and refining their talents, to build competence; and by helping them to see the impact their efforts have on those around them, to engender compassion. With care and patience on our part, during this iterative process, our children will also learn endurance and determination.

Ultimately, we want our children to go forth into the world feeling that they are indeed “fearfully and wonderfully made” whatever strengths and challenges they have. We hope that they present their authentic selves and have the courage to draw a line in the sand based on their convictions, when necessary. Finally we pray that they align themselves with people who truly respect them -- whether they are deciding whom to eat lunch with or whom to share their life with.
~Carol~

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