Hello? Are you there?

Improvements in communications technology over the past decade are nothing short of amazing. Today, with the help of wireless technology, we can be reached virtually anywhere, anytime via Skype, text, cell phone, and email, in addition to the old-fashioned phone. Many of us parents can be found at all times of the day, phone in hand, immediately attending to its every beck and beep. Unfortunately, current studies show that this unlimited access creates communication barriers between children and parents who find it impossible to "disconnect" while spending time with their children.

Our kids are smart. They know when they do not have our full attention, even when we are physically present with them the entire day. When we become beholden to this constant wireless connectivity, it leaves our children feeling ignored and encourages them to find ways to compete for your attention -- sometimes resulting in negative behavior. In addition, it models unhealthy wireless use for our older children.

Disconnecting from technology is really not as difficult and scary as it sounds. Here are some ideas to help you know when to disconnect from technology to allow meaningful connections with your child!

1. Don't answer calls, texts or emails during one-on-one time with your child.

2. Don't use communications technology during meals.

3. Don't use communications technology while reading with or doing homework with your child.

4. If your child asks a question while you are using your computer or phone, make eye contact with her as you respond. Acknowledging your child through eye contact, gives and teaches respect while assuring her of your presence.

5. If circumstances demand that you spend lengthy periods of time on the computer or phone, take a moment to give your child a specific time that he can depend on to have your undivided attention. "Johnny, at 6:00 I will turn off my computer/phone and play with you." Follow through on your promise. Following through will assure your child and limit his need to compete for your attention.

The time we have with our children truly is fleeting! I am reminded of that every day as I look up into the face of my 6 foot 1 1/2 inch, fourteen year old son. It was just yesterday that he was an infant, swatting at the telephone when he thought I had been on it too long. Now, knowing that he will be away in college before I know it, I am all eyes and ears when he comes to me to ask a question or share a story. Unplugging from technology to plug in to your child is valuable beyond measure for both you and your child. To be truly present with our children is the cornerstone of good parenting.

This month we are recommending Table Topics family conversation starters. They are great at dinner or on the go.
~Sheila~


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